crying

so whats up world?

mine is hectic.

i need to list things that i need to do.

1. i need to find baju kurung/ baju kebaya for convocation.

2. if i didnt find any, saya sarung seja la saya pnya baju kurung purple.

3. i need to go to college to take my certificate and settle everything about the house. borang biru kamu mana? saya pnya hilang suda. matai.

4. i want to wear braces :)

5. i am craving for blueberry cheese cake. so, hujung minggu ni im gonna go to secret recipe and kasi puas napssu makan.

6. i need to hang with my friends.

7. find Pulau yang nice and affordable untuk pigi sama Erma. Tapi siapa saya mau bawa?

8. i wanted to straighten my hair, bt im waiting fr it to panjang. i wish my hair can be panjang in a blink of an eye.

9. mm. i need someone to love me sincerely, like can deal with all my bullshiit and able to handle me? things to do ka itu? haha ♥

ok done.

:D

Now I know the meaning of brick by boring brick song. At last, after all this month, I finally understand it haha.

Btw, I was google-ing. and I found this website yang sangat comel. and I kind of scrolling scrolling and I like what I read. Yes I am currently having a love issue. But I think Im dealing it smooothly, with some help of course and some music :)

So, Im gonna copy paste some that I liked only la.

It's nice when a guy looks good but what's nicer is when he has a heart, wanting to do the right thing for his girl, never wanting to disappoint her, always sharing his world even when its cloudy, wanting to know what she likes and what she thinks about things and actually taking her advice when it fits the occasion, giving a hug and a smile without her having to ask for one.

Most girls like a guy who can make her feel protected when she's with them. The way he stands next to her, the way he wraps his arms around her-you feel like nothing in the world can harm you. A guy who is very dependable: you call and it's like he's just been waiting for your call. Sensitive to your needs but not a wimp or a crier.

If I showed you some of the guys I've fallen for...well, LOL, they don't exactly match my "perfect guy". Just be yourself and don't make them feel too special. Hold it back a bit because we kind of like a challenge and it feels more special if we get a compliment only once in a while instead of every five seconds.

I like a guy who makes me feel like I'm the only girl in the room, he's interested in what I do, he has an inner confidence, he sort of has to have a little bad boy streak but still be caring, and would look after me. He should make me feel good about myself but also have his own interests and passions and goals. He should be able to hold an intelligent conversation, be open minded and funny. He doesn't need to be classically good looking but he most definitely needs appeal, like I can't resist him and he can't resist.- MY FAVOURITE.

This may not go for all the girls, but it does go for me. Some girls might say that they do not look for good looking guys, but that is not necessarily true. He doesn't have to be drop dead gorgeous, but... he can't be UGLY. Also, intelligence is definitely sexy in a guy. Athleticism is another good trait. A guy has to be funny, no boring guys. Playing hard to get, DOES get a girls attention. "Bad boys" to some girls, are very attractive. Height is one of the things most girls look for in a guy. And a guy with style. Of course, that is only some of the things some girls look for in a guy. Other girls' opinions are totally different from this. But this is what some girls look for in a guy.

I know I feel GAY too. haha.

Letting go

of something that I know that is not real enough to handle me and my bullshit :)

I feel okay, relieve somehow. I was going to deactivate my facebook. But then, why stop life and ppl to talk to and share with. So, Im keeping my facebook, and my blog and everything. Im just letting John go. Seems like, at first Im letting him go, then I said lets take a break bcs I dont want us to end like crap also and then blablabla. Then he go like "ok la. If blablabla. Kita break la". I didnt mind. It makes everything flow easily. Cause I dont have to feel quilty and crap.

Im thanking you john for letting me go. It means a lot. Just dont forget to send my boxes. Just call or text my dad's number.

Jangan Sombong?

I cry a lot today and my eye bags are getting darker and I didn't even eat since last night.

Makan hati is it? I dont know.

An old friend make me realize alot of thing today. We have an intense conversation on the phone talking about life and sorts. Mostly, about me. He said, I am currently meng self destruct kan myself. When I think about it kan, I am. I am confuse. I am troubled. I am still immature about things. Im rushing things. I believe in something so much that it ended up hurting me. I dont even know how to handle my feelings.

Thank you Mirr fr being a good friend. It helps alot.

terrible

all I do, is eat. sleep. fetch my brother. send him to school. do some errands. and pee and shit and shower and stuff haaa. I miss school. I miss to wake up and, know that I have stg to do that day. well, it beats the unknown future :(

But no worries I have stg to do that will take my mind off things. Like, download moviess. Oh yeaah. Just a thing of interest that I picked up hours ago. I dont mind waiting it to download for hours, cause my life are dead boring. and read Breaking Dawn, again for the sixth time haha. The difference is Im reading it using my phone. And it really does still effects me. yup, especially the part where they have sex really turns me on. Yet, my boyfriend are 2 and a half hours away frm me, by flight I mean. So its not a good thing. I turned down the book cause its heavy and it makes me feel uncomfortable and because theres this thing called Ebook.

and Chowder is funny. HA? Okay I think Im getting out of topic. I think Im a bit sleepy.

okay done. Btw, I miss you boyfrrrriend. I want to talk to you. Bt john kijaaa. :(

In your face

KEPUTUSAN PEPERIKSAAN LEMBAGA JURURAWAT MALAYSIA 23 JUN 2010

Nama : NURAIN AFIZA BINTI ABD LATIF

No. Kad Pengenalan : 891030-12-5958

Keputusan : LULUS

I nailed the Malaysian Nursing Board Exam :)

hidup

KK MARI.

To be honest, I'm not even excited coming back. Like, there is nothing here for me anymore well beside my friends and family la. I mean living here equals to no where to go plus no life. It will be exciting if I go clubs and that sort of stuff, but the thing is I don't do clubs. and it will make my life even better if I got a job, so my life doesn't seem useless.

Btw. I bought a shirt from NANA, I think they got it from Indonesia? I guess so. And I think they already got kedai somewhere in KK. But mostly for guys la. For girls, well if you don't mind wearing a shirt that is not suffocating your body, then its okay to buy. I bought a size 'S'. Its RM35. but for family got discount la :)

yup. that's the shirt. fyi, there's alot of patterns other than that.

And John and I are starting a long distant relationship, pdhal kan alang-alang juga, next month kami masuk 1 year. Oh yea :D I miss him, a lot. ALOT. ALOT. sangaaaat! I love you. Macamana la ni? I will be so f-ing insecure and imagining things and be pathetic. Uh- uh. NOT GOOD.

peace